


Porthos, Aramis, and Kiefer Sutherland

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Episode: s17e09 Depravity Standard, Friendship, Gen, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 11:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5247083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Before we move on to all the other cases on the docket, are we going to discuss my date last night or possibly the elephant in this booth?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Porthos, Aramis, and Kiefer Sutherland

**Author's Note:**

> Let’s pretend that the episode Depravity Standard ended a little differently, shall we? This is my thoughts on it with some of that awesome deleted Barson scene thrown in.

“Hi.” Liv walked up to the booth where the men were drinking. There were plates of bar food scattered about. She took off her coat, hung it on the rack and slid into the booth.

“Porthos has arrived.” Trevor held up his bourbon and beer.

“Noooooo. I am so not Porthos. I'm D’Artagnan.”

“You can't be D’Artagnan.” Rafael shook his head. “He's the fourth Musketeer and he doesn’t count. Its Porthos, Athos, and Aramis.”

“I'm Kiefer Sutherland.” She said.

“Athos.” Trevor and Rafael said in unison.

“I knew you’d know which one he played.” Liv smiled.

“Dirty trick, Olivia.” Trevor grinned. “Get yourself a drink, intoxicate yourself.”

She waved over one of the barmaids and asked for a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. She nodded and walked away.

“Are you hungry?” Rafael asked.

“My stomach is in knots actually. Food would probably be a good idea if I'm going to drink but I'm not sure how much I can keep down.”

“I can't believe the Hodda jury deadlocked.” Trevor shook his head. “I can't believe the judge let that farce go on for a week.”

“The evidence was scant at best.” Rafael said. “We had a confession, which he tried to recant. When he couldn’t do that they went for coercion. We had the information about the concrete, and we had little else. Defense had the auxiliary cop who they could play as the patsy and the woe is me I was abused as a child defense. I hate that goddamn defense. I hate George Huang.”

“George Huang is a respected psychologist and you know it.” Trevor said. “The man has a huge brain, vast knowledge on many subjects, and a nice butt.”

“He does have a nice butt…but I don’t care.” Rafael said. “I hate him. If she wouldn’t have hired him no one would’ve given a damn that his father slapped him around if he was being accused of molesting kids.” He drained his glass of scotch, handing it to the barmaid when she brought back Liv’s wine. Trevor ordered a whiskey and water.

“Well with Wyatt set to testify we’re going to put the bastard where he belongs.” Liv said. “I know it’s not the same as getting justice for Hector Rodriguez but if the result is Hodda getting shanked with a sharp toothbrush to the nuts in Riker’s, I won't lose a night of sleep over it.”

“Remind me never to piss you off.” Trevor pointed at her.

“That sharpened toothbrush would be a Kiefer move.” Rafael said. “She's clearly earned Athos.”

“That makes you Porthos.” Trevor grinned.

“Get off your Aramis high horse. Porthos has character. He has intelligence, cunning, and skill with swords. He also has a thing for beer, women, and song. As do I.”

“You're petrified of women when you're drunk.”

“Liv, make him shut up.” Rafael said.

“Be nice to each other, guys. What were you eating before I got here?”

“Fries.” Trevor replied. “We had fries and chicken poppers, these little round chicken thingies. Those were good.”

“Look at the menu.” Rafael handed it to her. “It’s been a stressful week on top of countless stressful weeks. Please eat something.”

It was mostly a bar and lounge so the food was simple. They did serve a cheeseburger and a chicken burger. Other than that it was fries, potato skins, chicken wings, and other simple bar fare. When Rafael got the refill on his scotch, Liv ordered honey barbecue wings and potato skins. She already knew they were gonna run a number on her stomach but that was a bridge she’d cross when she got there. Most likely later tonight as she was trying to sleep.

“I don’t like the idea of you not eating.” Rafael said. “You gotta stay focused, keep your mind sharp.” He tapped his temple.

“How many of those have you had?” Liv asked.

“One doesn’t count Glenfiddich,” he drank some scotch. “One indulges in it.”

“Trevor?” Liv looked at her friend. 

“I don't know, maybe that’s his third; he was here when I arrived. He's not drunk. He might be tipsy but probably not even that. Two more and he's going down the sliding board to black out city. It happens fast and you have to watch for it.”

“Did you know, I was reading an article in the Times one day while I was waiting for the jury from hell to come back and it said that scientists can prove that when you blackout that you actually don’t forget anything. What happens is that your brain stops creating memories brought on by heavy drinking. So things are happening but your brain is making no note of them. How insane is that?”

“So how do you explain things that might come back later in bits and pieces?” Trevor asked.

“I'm not a neurologist but I'm sure they had an explanation. Maybe it was something stuck in short term memory or even false memory.” Rafael said. “Though the false memory thing has been debunked. I don't know.”

“Don’t let that article give you full reign to act like an ass tonight, Rafi. You need to be back in the office tomorrow working with the Farhidis.” Trevor said.

“No, that won't be until Monday, and I am not looking forward to his mother. I'm sorry but I really don’t like that woman. I got Rita Calhoun crawling up my ass about the bodega party that went horribly wrong. Some idiot put video of it on the web.”

“Colorful.” Trevor sipped his whiskey and water.

“It’s technically child porn.” Liv said. “Was someone going to tell us?”

“As soon as I cleared my one case that didn’t get cleared at all. We’re going to need TARU to see if they can trace back its origins. Tiffany is scared to death of testifying, says she's been getting veiled threats from some of the boys and their families. Teandra is ready to swing on everyone who attempted to embarrass and hurt her and her cousin so she might not make the best witness right now. Ever seen _Primal Fear_ , Lieutenant Benson, I don’t that to happen to Rita.”

“Before we move on to all the other cases on the docket, are we going to discuss my date last night or possibly the elephant in this booth?” Trevor asked.

“You had a date last night?” Olivia asked.

“Look, you two are friends.” He went on as if Liv hadn’t spoken. “I would go so far as to say you're best friends. There's another case coming that’s going to put that relationship on the line. Don’t let it. Olivia, you know Rafael is going to do his job. He's going to come hard and he's going to want to win. 

“It’s not a slight against you but a slight committed against the people of New York. Rafi, Liv is a cop and she stands with cops and even when that makes you want to shake sense into her it’s never going to work. Kiss and make up dammit. The shit storms are never going away. If we don’t have each other, how are we going to get through them?”

“You’ve barely talked to me in months.” Rafael mumbled into his scotch.

“We've both been really busy. I wasn’t entirely sure what to say. I can't side with you on this.”

“You can't, or you won't?” Rafael asked. “I know you would’ve never fired in that situation, Liv. You know it too…your record proves it.”

“Oh really, so raking me over the coals in front of the grand jury was just foreplay?”

They stopped talking when the food arrived. It looked delicious but Liv just felt nauseous. Trevor wasn’t; he helped himself to a wing.

“I was protecting you. I knew you weren't going to testify against them, that’s not how cops do it. But I got the grand jury to see what I needed them to see without you saying anything other than the party line. I got what I needed and you're not a pariah.”

“I'm a big girl, Counselor, I can protect myself.” Liv said.

Rafael only nodded and finished his drink. The silence was a bit awkward but they didn’t resume the conversation. Liv ate a little and Trevor ate more. He prodded Rafael to help them eat and the ADA did as he was told, taking a potato skin. He felt sick and it had nothing to do with the scotch swimming in his stomach. 

The Reynolds case was going to destroy his relationship with Liv. She was being so stubborn, why couldn’t she just admit that those cops were wrong. She would never do it on the stand and Rafael could live with that. But not to say it to him, to just pretend that things like that happen and it is what it is, sickened him. 

She wasn’t a brute…she was a decent human being. He had tripped over his pride on many occasions and landed on his face. He couldn’t, with any conscience, excuse her behavior with him in this instance. He also couldn’t stop caring about her.

“I'm glad I got the wings.” Liv said more to Trevor than Rafael. “I was thinking about the burger but this was a better idea.”

“They're so big.” Trevor said. “Do you think they’re injected with hormones?”

“This is my I don’t care face, Trevor.”

“I need to call it a night.” Rafael drank the last of his scotch and pushed the tumbler across the wood table. “The jury, Mrs. Rodriguez, the vigil…I'm at the end of a frayed rope.”

“You probably shouldn’t leave alone.” Liv said. “You’ve been drinking a lot.”

“I'm a big boy.” He looked her right in the eye when he said it. “I can take care of myself.”

“Most days.” Trevor added.

“Thank you, peanut gallery.”

“I have my car; I'm driving you home.” Liv said. “You can complain about it but you're not leaving without me so…”

“Gimme a chicken wing.”

Rafael took the wing off the plate and started eating. They really were good there, he should’ve ordered them earlier. He sat there for the next 20 minutes or so, while Liv had another glass of wine. She and Trevor talked about his date that went really well. Rafael wanted to scream, but he didn’t. 

He didn’t even know if anything would come out when he opened his mouth. Once in a while Olivia would look at him but he didn’t look back. He didn’t want to be bitter and petty; Rafael wanted to be friends again. He thought about calling her a million times over the months to say anything. 

If it wasn’t about work, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. All he could think was that she would reject him and that wasn’t something he wanted to deal with. Letting it smooth itself over seemed like a good idea at the time. Now Rafael felt as if he took the weasel’s way out. That, and it hadn’t worked at all.

***

Trevor grabbed Rafael, kissing his temple. Rafael was too tired to stop him. At least someone cared that he was drowning. Trevor would always care, always be there to kiss Rafael’s temple even when he didn’t want him to.

“Call me, OK?”

“I will.” Rafael nodded.

“Love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Liv.” Trevor gave her a hug. “Get him home safely.”

“Will do, Counselor. Have a good night.”

Trevor waved as he walked down the street. Liv was sure he was probably going to catch a cab, he rarely drove in the city. She turned and started walking toward her car. It was parked around the corner and down the block. Rafael followed and soon they were matching steps.

“What are we going to do when this case comes to trial?” she asked.

“I worry about that every night. I lie in bed and it eats at me and I can't sleep. I have a job to do; I feel strongly about that job. I don’t want to lose a good friend but I don’t have a lot of choice in this matter.”

“We have to get past it.”

“You know what? Towing the line and being a cop and all the things that happened over the course of the investigation…it never once changed how I felt about you. As soon as I told you that my boss was making me convene a grand jury you went dark on me. I thought we were stronger than that. I thought we understood that sometimes my job is going to call into question how you do yours. I thought we were getting pretty good at separating the game from the truth.”

“So this is my fault?” Liv asked.

“You're doing it again, Jesus Christ.” Rafael stopped walking. “Look at me. It has nothing to do with you, Olivia. If you had shot Terrence Reynolds then yes, this would be your fault. I am prosecuting three cops who shot a young man 35 times. Will I have to cross examine you on the stand? Probably. But I know, with all my heart that you are not like the people I'm prosecuting. I wonder if you feel the same about me.”

“This is complicated.”

“It’s not for me…not the case or our friendship.” He shook his head. “I think I should just a get a cab.”

“Rafael?”

“Not tonight, alright.” He held up his hand. “This past week has been nothing short of hell for me and I just can't do it tonight. I'm not going to let you beat me up anymore. I have a little more respect for myself than that.”

“We can meet for coffee early next week.” Liv said. “We’ll go to our favorite breakfast place.”

“This has been festering for months. What difference will a week make?”

“Maybe during that time I can get my head out of my ass.” She replied.

“Goodnight, Lieutenant.”

Rafael turned and walked in the opposite direction. Liv could see that his shoulders were slumped, he was exhausted. The jury had been out a week only to deadlock and Hassler took the opportunity not to take the DA’s plea agreement. The Farhidis’ initial refusal to cooperate meant that Mrs. Rodriguez had to go through hell all over again and get no justice in return. Rafael promised to do the best that he could, and had, but still failed. Not a single person walked away from this unscathed.

These months without him had been difficult for Liv. She was so angry at him but now she could hardly think of why. Had he been a jerk? Yes and no. The ADA had been hard and didn’t give her an inch in that grand jury room. 

But how often had she praised him for doing the same thing when she was trying to get a conviction? He never once said she was a bad cop or called her abilities into question. He never called her a racist or insinuated that she was protecting racists. If anything he highlighted her great record and her lack of deadly force with 16 years on the job. In response to that, Liv gave him the barbed wire, brick wall routine. 

The other members of her squad hadn’t been thrilled with Barba grilling them but they didn’t blame him personally. She took it personally. Why? Why was it so hard to deal with? She didn’t take it personally when he went over the NYPD’s head to prosecute CPS though she had a hand in that. She didn’t take it personally, too personally, when he wasn’t pleased with police work done in the Josh Galloway or Simon Wilkes trials. 

How many times had she pushed him to do more? She pushed him to prosecute with less evidence than normal, be lax on some things and hard line on others…and he always had her back. Rafael wasn’t asking her to agree with him, he knew that was never going to happen even if he wanted it to. He was asking her to not let their jobs completely shatter their personal relationship. And Liv had her head so far up her ass that she stopped listening months ago. 

Now she needed to listen. She would give Rafael the space he needed tonight and send him a text in the morning to make sure he was OK. They still had to work together to put Hodda behind bars permanently, and on countless other cases. He’d never dropped his end of the bargain. It was time for her to pick hers up again.

***


End file.
